Farewell...

so me and corbin aren't going to take a break after all. though, looking at my last post it may still be necessary, he was just as unprepared for that kind of "solution" as i was. i am still saying goodbye though. not to him, but to you. i'm afraid that another has won over my heart..............Tumblr. it just looks soo cool and i wanna try it out so i'll be continuing my life story there. i do plan to keep this up, just for a little while though until i get things at the new place all situated and then i will make my permanent move.

Thought We Were Gonna Go The Distance...

He added rozalia and julie back on his facebook...I can't handle him wanting to be friends with girls who nearly destroyed our relationship...he said fb chat could be just for us to talk, but he uses it to talk to other ppl...we may hear the other person out, but we always think our side is right and therefore never really resolve anything...knowing the consequences we continue to do what we want and treat each other any kind of way...we don't fit into each other's worlds anymore...he really needs to focus on his SATs and college apps and doesn't need me as a distraction...my love for him has turned me into an insanely possessive monster...we both want more from the other than we're actually willing to give ourselves...

These are all reasons why me and Corbin have to decided to "take a break." I know, I'm still in shock myself. I was even more surprised at the fact that it was his idea. It just seems like instead this break being just what we need to work things out so we can get back together, I'm feeling like this is the beginning of the end for me and him and that scares the hell out of me. Even when that is the best solution, no one wants to admit it and admit that all the time spent together was wasted; to admit that all along, you weren't meant each other. I'm so scared that I'll have to admit that soon. While I agreed to try this break and do think it could help in some ways, I still love him so much and the other part of me is thinking that if we start to let go now we'll never get it back and it'll just be....over. And maybe it's supposed to be...but I don't think I'm ready to let go.